hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
