So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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