So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
