I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
