I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize