I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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