Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
