i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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