ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Please, let me fuck your mom
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
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