her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you š
I feel kind of like weāre in a gang and tonight is one of those āpeople are gonna know not to fuck with usā type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. Iām not really sure how I got to this point in my lifeā¦ but I like it.
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