What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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