Don't you send me to vm
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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