Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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