my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
