I must be too annoying 4 u.
are you so shy because you have an std?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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