you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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