ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
