So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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