Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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