Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
