Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
