You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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