He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
