I accidentally had phone sex last night
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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