one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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