I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
