My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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