if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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