Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
