I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
