Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
