i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
