and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
