I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
