I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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