guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
