wrigley field is MILF paradise
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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