Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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