I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
