i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
