Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
