Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
