Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
