i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
