I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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