More tranny stories later!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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