Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
