My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
