My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
my liver is dry heaving
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
