he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I will pee on everything he values.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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