nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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