Banned from zoo.
Again?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
