Heybabeimwearingurpanties
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
