i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
operation harelip BJ is a go
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
