You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
