Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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