now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
