You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
