Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
