I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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