My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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