wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
