i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
