Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
