You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
