your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
