Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
